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    August 24

    陰霾......(散文)[转贴]

    我的淚無聲地從臉頰滑落。窗外下起了如注的雨,突然覺得胸口好悶,悶得令人窒息。愛人,我捨不得你走。

            一個人慢慢步行在熙來攘往的大街上時,無邊的孤寂將我無情地吞沒。我不知道,在旁人看來戀人之間多麼正常的交往 ,什麼對你來說卻是那麼難。我總是不斷地檢討自己,是不是我對你提的要求太多了太苛刻了,讓你無力承擔?

             我希望在陽光明媚的日子裏,能牽著你的手到處走走,笑容一如陽光般燦爛;我希望在雙休日的早上,一打開門就有你的身影,帶著我離開這喧鬧的都市,去田園去鄉間尋找難得的溫馨和寧靜;我想在雨中和你共一把傘,讓絲絲細雨都羨慕我倆的恩愛;我想坐在你的自行車後座,握住你伸向我的溫暖的手;我做飯給你吃,看著你狼吞虎咽般吃完,然後告訴我明天還來吃我做的飯;我說過我願意和你一起做任
    何的事,看著你在身旁,我的心才會前所未有的踏實……

              幾乎,所有的都只是我的空想。於是,我常常自責,是我自己不夠好,才不能讓你好好來愛我。我覺得很累, 我,也 這樣和我在一起的你。我無數次想著放棄,無人的夜晚我抱著枕頭哭泣,想象著身邊沒有你的日子將會是怎樣,我近乎窒息。愛人,我不能沒有你。只有你的無情才能讓我死心。可是你一點一滴對我好了起來。

              胸口還是很痛很痛,我不敢入睡,我怕睡了以後再不會醒來。愛人,如果這時你來看我,抱著我,讓我在你的肩頭痛哭一晚,那有多好。這樣的一個夜晚過後,也許我就不會再想著你就會心痛流淚了

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